just like the alphabet...
I would like to share this one to all women out there. It was forwarded to me a long time ago, and now, I read it again from my sister's blog. It's just nice to read and be reminded once in a while! =)
If a man wants you...
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends."
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them whenta he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior.
Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before
pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.
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yep! fortunately, i read it again and shared it here. it surely helps! =)
i simply love it.........
Hrm. I agree with this, and disagree with this.
In fact, I could probably write a super lengthy response to everything in there :)
cool! that would be great! i will surely wait for that! =) it's good to hear the guy's side too.
Okay. Well I cant sleep anyway :) Take everything I say here with a grain of salt, and know its just my opinion, for a guy like me. (and I am one particular SOB)
Truth - if a man wants you *almost* nothing can keep him away. But even a persistant guy like me will stop at some point.
Slower is not always better. Slower runs the risk of sending the wrong message just as much as faster does. So if you want to take it slow, you best bring your A Game for communication. Or you lose me.
Be careful trying to find what makes you truly happy. If you want to go ahead and believe that you will never change, that you are not dynamic, that you will still be alive ... then find your happiness first. But chances are, you will not be quite the same person in a few years that you are today. Are you willing to risk a great opportunity because you wanted to "find yourself" first? Your call.
Dont settle. And yes, the only person you can control in a relationship is you. You have every right to be, think, feel whatever way you want. Just as I have every right to those same things in response to, or independently of you.
If something bothers you, *definitely* speak up. I cannot learn about you if you hide it inside. The relationship cannot grow if we dont work together. But know, that if you really want it to work, you *have* to listen to things that bother me too.
Dont *always* make him feel like he is more important than you. Its give and take. Sacrifice, on occasion, is part of love. But, if/when you feel it is imbalanced, again ... speak up.
A man will only treat you the way you allow him to. For sure.
There is nothing cute about baggage. However, as you move more through life, some baggage is almost inevitable. The important part isnt in the non-existence of it, but in the dealing with it. Let your past affect us as little as possible. I dont expect you to be perfect. I am not.
How do you know if you have really dealt with something, until you try to move on? You dont. You might have a dang good guess, but thats it. Cognitive neurosciene has tons of examples that illustrate how bad humans are at predicting things about themselves. Especially feelings.
Dating is fun. So is kissing :).
Make me miss you sometimes. But not too often. I dont want to take you for granted, but I also dont want to feel like you never make time for me either. Its all about balance.
Never commit to a man that doesnt give you everything you need. But you should be aware of what you need. And tell me. I am no mind reader. And no matter how good I might be at reading your subtleties, I cannot learn about you without feedback.
If I care a lot about you, I want to fulfill your needs. Even the ones I dont know about. And you can bet I want to know about them. (duh). However, I will expect the same in return.
Be fair. Be real. Be honest. Be straightforward when you need to be.
And most importantly ... dont let things like this skew your perspective towards clamming up when you shouldnt. If you spend the rest of your life pessimistically protecting yourself from men ... you may just miss your dream guy.
Its tough kid. But youre only as alone as you let yourself be.
wow that's a pretty fast response! =)
i like what you said...
I type most of the day. And think a lot :)
Thank you for the compliment in your reply. Im glad something I said resonated with you!
As far as women thinking men are mind-readers ... Im not sure what to think about it. I have always felt like it was something along the lines of "He should be paying enough attention to know". Or even more specifically, "it would mean a lot more if I didnt have to explicitly say it. Him knowing without me telling him makes me feel more special."
Honestly, I can empathize with that. Have been guilty of it myself. But I think it is a mindset worth changing. It is probably asking a bit too much from *real* people ... to be like fictitious garbage fed to us by the media (books, movies, tv, etc).
Well - Ive blabbered up your post enough now ;) Good topic!